Hit Counter
Subject: A Round of Applause for Malaysia
From: "Jasper" <Jasper@my-dejanews.com>
Newsgroups: soc.culture.malaysia

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 24 (New Shit Times) - North Korea's Deputy Foreign Minister Pak Tong Chun voiced his country's support for Malaysia's economic measures, the official Bernama news agency reported.

Pak said that while Malaysia still has a long way to go in emulating the North Korean economy, it is clearly headed in the right direction with capital controls. He urged further isolation of the country's economy, saying, "learn from us." When asked whether North Koreans were generally happy, Pak replied that "you never hear any complaints, not a single word." According to Pak, the governmental benefit of having zero dissatisfaction
cannot be overstated.

The North Korean accolade came on the heels of other international kudos dished out recently in praise of the Malaysian government.

Yesterday, Saddam Hussein sent Mahathir a congratulatory message in regard to the performance of the Malaysian press. This read in part: "The vitriol and viciousness expressed by your local media against the United States over the last week would rival that of any newspaper in Iraq. I am deeply impressed and offer you my most sincere compliments." Saddam also issued an open invitation to Malaysian newspaper editors to visit their counterparts in Iraq. He expressed hope that a hitherto unheard of level of anti-US malevolence can be achieved through cross-cultural fertilization.

Meanwhile, retired Dictator Suharto has called Mahathir an "honours student" in corruption, cronyism and nepotism. "Mahathir's achievements in these fields are remarkable," he was reported to have said, "considering that he's only had 17 years to rape his country compared to my 32." He further advised his old friend to "keep it up while you can."

Myanmar's military rulers are full of praise for Malaysia's police force. A spokesman said: "The many recent reports we've had of Malaysian police brutality and torture indicate an unusually high degree of competence. We are, in fact, thinking of importing some of these advanced techniques."

He cited the instance of using balaclava-clad police to break down doors and windows when effecting arrest even when the main entrance was open as being "particularly noteworthy." The use of irritating water sprays that blinded demonstrators was described as a "startling innovation." On the other hand, he stated that Malaysian interrogators could learn from their Myanmar counterparts techniques of brainwashing and extracting confessions guaranteed against later retractions.

However, North Korea, Iraq and Myanmar all conceded that the Malaysian judiciary had no par anywhere in the world. All three countries intend to study closely this unique justice system that can deliver the government pleasing verdicts 100% of the time.

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